


Words We Couldn't Say

by darktensh17



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: Bittersweet, F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-14
Updated: 2014-04-14
Packaged: 2018-01-19 07:35:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1461076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darktensh17/pseuds/darktensh17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Isabela and Aveline share a night together, and despite moving on with their lives neither can forget it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Words We Couldn't Say

**Author's Note:**

> Older fic written for the Kink meme

Sometimes Aveline remembers that night.

She remembers soft lips pressing against hers in desperation.

Hands twined together, cream and mocha contrasting sharply.

Feeling pleasure greater than anything she had ever experienced before.

Most of all Aveline remembers happiness, something she has not felt in over a year, perhaps even many years.

And then she remembers pain.

They both knew it was a mistake. Aveline had just been made captain of the guard and Isabela had just begun her relationship with Hawke. They had agreed then to never speak of it again.

When Isabela left it was as though a part of Aveline had left as well. It was almost like Wesley all over again, except worse because Isabela had made the choice to leave, Wesley had been taken away.

The pain and bitterness she had felt then did nothing to diminish the joy at seeing Isabela return to them. Even watching her in Hawke’s arms following the battle with the Arishok could not shatter that joy.

Aveline could not stay away. She went to Isabela that night, while Hawke recovered in her bed. They met in an alley way, all kisses and desperate touches. A room in a low end inn and they fell into each other, losing themselves in pleasure.

This is wrong they know; they both have people waiting for them, people who love them. They cannot let go but they must.

‘This cannot happen again,’ Aveline says as she buckles her armour.

Isabela only smiles and waves a dismissive hand, ‘I know big girl.’

One brief and hungry kiss then they part ways. They do not meet again, moving on with their lives.

The years had passed with Aveline marrying Donnic and Isabela remaining with Hawke.

They pass each other on the street, are brought together often while following Hawke, they see each other at the Hanged Man. Always there are desperately exchanged looks, the occasional touch snatched when it will not be seen as unusual, there are the callous words, words that do not convey what they truly mean but there are no more guilty nights of pleasure because they know. What they have is not meant to be; they love and are loved by others. They will always have those moments though.

When Anders destroys the Chantry their worlds are turned upside down in a single moment. Fire rains down, Hawke screams at Anders, they will defend the mages, Aveline gathers her guards, and they head to the Gallows.

There is brief moment in the battle with Meredith where she things she has lost her pirate, her voice is raw with grief and anger as she charges the creature that was once Orsino. The battle is horrible not simply because the battle is difficult; Aveline cannot focus, in her minds eye she can see Isabela’s crumpled lifeless form.

They defeat Orsino and then Meredith, the save Kirkwall for the time being, there is no saving it from its fate though. Aveline does not care, she holds tight to Donnic while they watch Anders fight to keep Isabela with them.

‘I should get the name of the Qunari that hit me.’ The words are a hoarse whisper but they mean life and not death.

Pained amber meet worried green, so much is said without words in that one moment. Hawke hugs Isabela spilling out her heart to her, Aveline looks away.

There is no one last night together like so many of the books Varric is fond of would lead you to believe. There is only a hand shake, palms trembling, the meeting of hazel and green once again, love and sorrow.

‘Take care of yourself big girl’

‘You as well whore’

These are not the words she wants to hear or say. I love you, says her heart, since her mouth cannot

She watches as they sail away; Hawke, Merrill, Anders, Fenris and Isabela. Only Varric and herself remain in Kikrwall, there is much to be done before they will leave.

She turns to Donnic after the ship has disappeared. He smiles at her and pulls her close. Guilt fills her heart as she thinks of another while in his arms.


End file.
